A couple of pet gripes
Sooner or later – if not in South Carolina, then at some other bump along the road – the actual Republican nominee for president will be named. At that instant, the moment that it actually becomes inevitable, everybody will get all lovie-dovie and smoochy, no matter what they’ve been calling each other up to that point.
And don’t get the idea I’m just picking on Republicans. The only reason the Democrats aren’t doing it this time is that they have a sitting president. Both parties do it to themselves in their primaries, and then do it to each other in the general election.
Once, just once, wouldn’t you like to hear a loser say something like, “Okay, okay, I’m withdrawing. But I’m not taking back anything I’ve said about my opponent, who is a crooked, hypocritical, immoral, greedy, lying skunk, though that may be an insult to skunks. If that’s who the voters want, then the voters can have him and rot.”
You know those are some of the feelings flying around in the losing camp on election night. Oh, yes you do. Admit it. But nobody says it.
Likewise, in the winner’s camp wouldn’t you like to see the candidate or president-elect give raspberries or at least a nya-nya-nya-nya-nya and then say, “Yes, in spite of all the dirty, low-down tactics of my sniveling, sneaking opponent (or opponents), in spite of the pitiful attempts at obviously false accusations, I came out smelling like a rose. I’m the big cheese now, and how do you like it, losers?”
Don’t try to tell me that something similar to that has never passed through a victor’s mind. But the victor will never say it.
What the victor will say is, “I want to congratulate and thank my splendid opponent(s) for a well-run, hard-fought race, and now let us all join together to bring our wonderful country into a new era of cooperation and love, where everything is going to be wonderful for everyone because we’re so besotted with each other.”
Likewise, losers will say, “The people have chosen a great leader, and I pledge my full support, now and in years to come, as we go down the road, believing in a perfect world to which we all know he (or she) will bring us.”
I guarantee you, that’s not how the folks out in the country are feeling afterwards, win or lose.
• • • • •
My next gripe is short, because I used up a lot of space with my first gripe.
I’ve been bombarded up to my eyeballs with arguments back and forth about Act 833. However it is finally decided that this particular little turnback is going to be distributed, let it be soon.
There’s money involved, of course, and everybody gets some. That’s not the problem. The problem is that them what gets only a little want more. Them what gets a lot want to keep getting a lot. That’s it in a nutshell.
Whatever way you folks are going to do it, do it and get it over with.
The best advice I can give anyone is to pay close attention when your local fire fighters give fire protection tips. They usually have some good ones.
I’s sure even the fire departments would agree that the best way to deal with the fire money controversy is to do everything you can not to catch on fire in the first place.
(EDITOR’S NOTE: David Nichol’s column appears in the Times-Herald on Thursdays. Nichol is a member of the Times-Herald news team. He can be reached by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.)