This happens twice every year, and twice every year I rail against it. But the Time Cops keep winning. I’m speaking, of course, of the upcoming time change.
Halloween is just around the corner. But there’s something afoot I find much scarier than the little ghouls and goblins running around Tuesday night or the ghost stories told in the dark this weekend. What makes me shudder, even in the light of day, is the deteriorating state of our political culture.
This is my last column before Halloween, and I suppose I do have a bit of good news: Seems my bum knee is coming around sufficiently to allow me to hand out candy on the big night.
(Editor’s note: Below is an exclusive copy of a speech written by President Donald Trump, prepared for a weekend rally, regarding his progress on a number of current issues. The speech was obtained through nefarious means by the senior Times-Herald satire reporter)
With Halloween around the corner, I decided to talk about something that is creepier than a lot of folks seem to think. I call them the four types of prophecy.
Like many students of history, I thought the outdated holiday of Columbus Day was on its way out.
We shot the flu the other day. Hope it works.
When tragedy strikes, as it did late Sunday night, we humans tend to reach too quickly for answers and explanations. And sometimes, we tend to reach a little too far.
Alas, it was an innocent mid-week trip to the store to pick up some things. And the visit had started off well. I had swung by a particular part of the store and had gotten a good “bah, humbug” fix, snorting at all the Christmas stuff that was already up. Ah, yes, that was the ticket.
I am writing you today…